In the quiet margins of recovery meetings and spiritual retreats, spoken in hushed voices or handwritten into journals, there lives a prayer rarely found in religious texts or mainstream liturgies. It is neither ancient nor formally canonized. Yet it has guided thousands—perhaps millions—of people toward personal transformation. It’s called the Set-Aside Prayer, and it begins with a simple yet radical idea: what if I set aside what I think I know?
The Unofficial Sacred
Unlike the Serenity Prayer, the Set-Aside Prayer is not universally known. It has no single author, no denominational alignment, and no fixed version. And yet, across 12-step meetings, spiritual retreats, counseling rooms, and self-discovery workshops, it surfaces like a well-worn mantra passed between those earnestly seeking clarity.
At its heart, the Set-Aside Prayer is about releasing assumptions—about oneself, others, God, recovery, healing, even truth itself. It’s a spiritual tool forged in the context of recovery from addiction, but its resonance has extended far beyond those roots.
A Prayer With No Bible Verse
So what exactly is it?
Here’s a commonly used version:
“God, please help me to set aside everything I think I know about myself, my disease, these steps, and especially You, so that I may have an open mind and a new experience with all these things. Please help me to see the truth.”
Each line is disarming in its humility. It does not ask for strength or control, but for openness. It does not ask for understanding, but for the willingness to let go of understanding.
In a world trained to seek answers, the Set-Aside Prayer begins by inviting unknowing.
The Roots: Recovery, Ego, and Relearning
The Set-Aside Prayer is deeply rooted in the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and other 12-step recovery traditions. Though not found in the AA “Big Book,” it emerged organically among sponsors and sponsees as a practical way to confront the mental rigidity that often blocks growth.
Those in early recovery often approach the program with preconceptions, intellectual resistance, or emotional defensiveness. They may have ideas about who they are (“I’m not that bad”), about addiction (“I can control this”), about the steps (“this won’t work”), or even about God (“I don’t believe in that”). The prayer directly challenges these certainties.
By asking to “set aside everything I think I know,” the person is not abandoning reason—they are creating room for new insight. In the language of recovery, this is the beginning of “willingness,” a vital precondition for lasting change.
A Tool for the Spiritually Restless
Outside recovery circles, the Set-Aside Prayer has found new resonance among those navigating spiritual deconstruction, existential questioning, and personal reinvention. In an age of information saturation, where certainty is often equated with status or safety, the ability to pause and say I don’t know is countercultural—and deeply liberating.
Writers, therapists, coaches, and spiritual directors have adopted the prayer not for its theological content, but for its epistemological power. It’s a tool for shifting out of defensiveness. A way of disarming the ego. A declaration of humility in a noisy, opinion-heavy world.
Where traditional prayer seeks to fill the soul, the Set-Aside Prayer begins by emptying it.
Why It Works: The Psychology Behind Letting Go
From a psychological perspective, the Set-Aside Prayer taps into some key concepts:
1. Cognitive Flexibility
It encourages the brain to enter a state of openness, where old neural pathways (habits, biases, assumptions) are temporarily softened. This openness allows for the formation of new connections and perspectives.
2. Ego Disengagement
The prayer is a direct invitation to decenter the self—to stop clinging to identity, opinions, and narratives. This detachment, however brief, creates space for insight, growth, or peace.
3. Metacognition
By acknowledging what we think we know, we engage in a higher-order reflection about our own beliefs. This is a step toward conscious change, rather than reactive behavior.
These are not abstract benefits. In the trenches of real life—especially in addiction recovery or spiritual confusion—the capacity to let go of false certainty can be the difference between relapse and renewal, despair and hope.
A Daily Practice, Not Just a Crisis Tool
Though it originated in moments of crisis or emotional blockage, many now use the Set-Aside Prayer as a daily ritual. A mental reset. A spiritual palate cleanser. A morning intention or evening reflection.
Here’s how some people integrate it:
- Before meditation, to soften mental chatter.
- Before therapy, to release resistance.
- Before difficult conversations, to drop assumptions.
- Before reading scripture or spiritual texts, to avoid self-righteous interpretation.
- Before making decisions, to stay open to unexpected paths.
This simple act of pausing, reciting, and listening—to God, to the self, or simply to silence—can reorient an entire day.
Variations and Personalization
Because the prayer is unofficial, users often adapt it. Some use the word “Universe” or “Spirit” instead of “God.” Others simplify it:
“Help me to see things as they really are—not as I expect or want them to be.”
Others add to it:
“Help me to set aside my fear, my pride, and my need to be right, so that I can learn.”
The point is not the wording, but the intention—to release mental rigidity and invite fresh insight.
Critics and Controversies
As with any spiritual practice, the Set-Aside Prayer has drawn critiques.
From the religious right:
Some see it as too vague or not grounded in scripture. Critics argue that faith should be rooted in unchanging truth, not in setting aside beliefs—even temporarily.
From the secular left:
Others see the prayer as too theistic or potentially manipulative in recovery settings where belief in God may not come naturally.
Both critiques miss a central truth: the prayer is not dogma—it’s a gesture. Not an answer, but an inquiry. Not a statement of faith, but an experiment in humility.
In the Words of Practitioners
“When I say that prayer, it’s like opening a window in a stale room,” says Maria, a therapist and longtime Al-Anon member.
“It’s my reset button. I can start the day angry or scared, but once I pray that, I feel lighter,” shares Darryl, five years sober.
“I don’t even believe in God all the time,” admits Jana, who uses the prayer during yoga practice. “But I do believe in setting aside my ego.”
Their stories reflect a common theme: the prayer doesn’t require belief—it invites curiosity.
Set-Aside in a Secular Age
Interestingly, the Set-Aside Prayer is gaining traction among non-religious people seeking meaning in a spiritually fragmented culture. It offers something rare: permission to not know.
In mindfulness circles, it echoes beginner’s mind. In coaching, it mirrors the clean-slate mindset. In therapy, it parallels cognitive reframing.
What makes it unique is the surrender embedded in the words—not passive helplessness, but the courage to ungrip what no longer serves.
In that way, it speaks to anyone struggling with:
- Grief that doesn’t follow rules
- A spiritual path that no longer fits
- A self-image too small for the soul’s evolution
The Set-Aside Mindset in Leadership and Learning
Beyond personal growth, the mindset behind the Set-Aside Prayer is making its way into leadership, education, and even technology ethics. As leaders grapple with uncertainty, bias, and rapid change, the ability to “set aside” old models and remain teachable has become a strategic skill.
In business, it looks like:
- Releasing outdated models of productivity
- Listening to younger or more diverse voices
- Reevaluating core assumptions about success
In education, it looks like:
- Decentering the expert and re-centering the learner
- Inviting critical thinking over memorization
In AI development, it could look like:
- Setting aside human superiority and asking: what should machines not do?
The applications are endless. But they all begin with a question: What am I willing to set aside today?
How to Begin Your Own Set-Aside Practice
If you’re curious about integrating this mindset, consider the following steps:
1. Identify a fixed belief
This could be a fear, a narrative, or a frustration. (“I’ll never change.” “They’ll never understand.”)
2. Say the prayer
Use the traditional version or make your own. The key is sincerity, not syntax.
3. Sit in silence
Don’t rush to fill the space. Let the uncertainty settle.
4. Notice what changes
You may not get a clear answer. But you might feel lighter. Less stuck. More curious.
Final Thoughts: The Power of Letting Go
In a world constantly asking us to know more, assert more, achieve more, the Set-Aside Prayer offers something rare: a path to wisdom through unknowing. It is neither passive nor weak. It is an act of radical self-trust—to believe that by letting go, you won’t fall apart, but fall deeper into truth.
It asks for no credentials, no performance, no theological alignment. Only the courage to whisper one question:
“What if I’m wrong?”
And in that whisper, the door to transformation begins to open.
Read: Boosting Life Quality Nobullswipe & New Frontier of Living Well
FAQs
1. What is the Set-Aside Prayer?
The Set-Aside Prayer is a spiritual tool often used in recovery programs, personal growth, and contemplative practices. It invites the individual to “set aside” preconceived beliefs or assumptions in order to gain fresh insight, clarity, and openness. While there is no official version, the most commonly used form begins:
“God, please help me to set aside everything I think I know…”
2. Where did the Set-Aside Prayer originate?
The prayer has its roots in 12-step recovery communities, particularly within Alcoholics Anonymous. Though not found in official literature, it emerged organically among sponsors and sponsees as a way to encourage open-mindedness and humility. Over time, it spread beyond recovery circles into broader spiritual and personal development contexts.
3. Do I have to believe in God to use the Set-Aside Prayer?
No. While the original version refers to “God,” many people adapt it to suit their beliefs—using terms like Universe, Higher Power, Spirit, or simply skipping the invocation altogether. The core idea is not religious dogma, but the willingness to release rigid thinking and become open to new understanding.
4. How is the Set-Aside Prayer used in daily life?
People use the Set-Aside Prayer in various ways:
- Before meditation or prayer
- At the start of a 12-step meeting or therapy session
- When feeling stuck in thought, emotion, or behavior
- During periods of doubt, transition, or growth
It serves as a reset button—mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
5. What are the benefits of practicing the Set-Aside Prayer regularly?
Regular use can help cultivate:
- Open-mindedness
- Emotional flexibility
- Humility and curiosity
- Improved relationships (by dropping assumptions)
- Deeper spiritual insight or peace
It fosters a mindset of learning and surrender, often making it easier to grow through life’s challenges rather than resist them.
